Editor’s Note: PAC welcomes Guest Writer Taiwo Emayosanlomo
Is it possible to find strength to get up after hitting rock bottom? You don’t need to worry about the possibility, because that is what this post is all about.
Life does not have any sieve with which it allows some people to go through tough times and allow others to have a smooth ride. Life is not a respecter of anybody. We are bound to experience one challenge or the other for as long as we are in this world. That you are going to be confronted with difficulty is not an issue you can bargain, what you should be working on is the strength to stand when you meet difficulty.
What does it mean to hit a rock bottom? To hit a rock bottom as used in this post means “to reach the lowest possible level or be in the worst situation.” Hitting rock bottom comes to people in different forms. To some it may be failure in business, to others it may comes in form of divorce, death of a loved one, failure to actualize ones dream, disappointment, sudden shock etc.
A rock bottom situation is one that leaves one devastated. It is a moment in life when the true strength of your character is tested.
Some people who find themselves in a rock bottom situation responded by committing suicide, some resolve to blaming others. Many people handle it by engaging in self-pity and giving up on their pursuits. While some persons unlike the category previously described, look for ways to gather the needed strength to keep moving. They endure the rock bottom and gradually work their way out of it. These are the ones we admire their conquest stories and accept as heroes.
In my short stay in this world, I have in several occasions found myself in rock bottoms. I am not a drug addict, but I have received lots of heavy punches from life in the form of adversity.
This post is about some of the strategies I have found useful in summoning strength and courage to keep moving. I hope they will be of help to you.
The ways via which you can find strength to get up when you hit rock bottom include the following:
1 Accept some basic facts about your outcome:
Hitting rock bottom is all about unpleasant outcomes. The better you have a clear understanding of the processes that land you in a rock bottom, the easier it would be for you to summon courage to take the necessary action that will get you out of it.
Whatever may be the nature of your current outcome, the following facts remains true.
* Your life is the way it is today because of the decisions you took in the past.
This means you are responsible for your current unpleasant outcome. You may find it difficult to accept it, but if you can take a deep look at the series of events that put you in a rock bottom right now, you will find out you played some role, without which you won’t be where you are right now.
* You cannot undo the past.
When you are in a rock bottom, it is common to regret your actions, and wish you could reverse events. The longer you allow yourself to keep regretting, the longer you will stay in your rock bottom. Irrespective of what might have happened to you, just accept that you cannot undo the past. The only thing you can gain from the past is to learn from it, and move on. Decide to stop dwelling on your mistakes or misfortunes, the longer you do so, the more power they have to control you.
* If you keep doing today what you have been doing before now, your future will be as it is today.
If you’re already in a rock bottom situation, you cannot continue to regret, feel hopeless, feel helpless, put blame on others or continue doing the things that landed in you in a rock bottom and expect to get out of it. This fact should be a wake up call to you.
Accept this fact, and decide to do things that will help you get out of your rock bottom.
“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results.”
*You are the creator of your reality.
“We are the master of our fate,” said William Henley, “We are the captain of our soul.”
Life doesn’t just happen to us, we create our realities. So accept this fact, and sit in the driver sit of your life. Start all over again and move gradually to your desired destination. You are more powerful than you think.
2.Accept total responsibility for your life.
One of the ways to gather strength to get out of a rock bottom situation is to accept total responsibility for your life. Anytime you blame external forces for your problem, you are giving power to things you can’t control; doing so is a waste of your personal power. There is nothing that happens to you without your contribution, except the ones you inherited. Your contribution, no matter how small is what gives the permission to whatever problem you are in right now.
To take back your personal power, you have to desist from pointing accusing fingers at others, accept that you are responsible for your result. Doing so will help you to stay calm, give you the strength you need to stage and execute a comeback.
“There is nothing that happens to you without your contribution, except the ones you inherited.”
3.Consider the mortality of your existence.
You must have heard this popular saying before now, “Naked you come and naked you shall return.”
Most often we worry so much about our lives that we see ourselves as big failures when things didn’t go as planned. We feel sad, depressed and devastated when our lives don’t measure up with what the society expects of us. One thing you should start considering is that your sense of self-importance as far as this world is concern is an illusion.
You need to also banish the assumption that you are anything or that you own anything in this world. Everything you think you own is not yours. You will probably say, what do you mean?
Okay, the last time your neighbor died, how many of his possessions were buried with him? If you have watched closely, you will find out that he could not lay hold of any of the things he counted so precious the moment he closes his eyes at death.
If he didn’t write a will, his possessions would be shared by his family member as they wish. So if you are going to live everything behind, why the worry? Why the shame? Why the ego? We are all naked before life. The only thing we have that is eternal is our consciousness (soul), that is if you believe anything of such exists.
In the end, what counts is the character we have developed, the wisdom we have gained from all our experiences, the knowledge we have acquired and how much we have learned to live with the rest of humanity.Stop attaching yourself to anything physical, including your body, none of them will matter when you die. So when you hit a rock bottom, consider the ultimate vanity of your pursuit, instead of worrying, learn from the experience, and move on.
“In the end, what counts is the character we have developed, the wisdom we have gained from all our experiences, the knowledge we have acquired and how much we have learned to live with the rest of humanity.”
4.Think of a wild possibility.
When you have not seen another person’s condition, you will always think yours is the worst. In fact so many people are praying or desiring to be in your current situation, because theirs are far worse.When you hit a rock bottom, instead of getting angry at your life, consider the fact that it could have been worse. Consider the possibility of falling below your current state. The truth is that even if the worse had happened, you will probably still not kill yourself, but find a way to get out your messy condition.
Just be happy that it is not worse than the way it is. If you are in a rock bottom, and you can read this, then your condition is better than that of millions of people spread across the world. Knowing that the worst could have happen will serve as a consolation and assist you will the strength you need to stage a comeback.
5.Consider what you have left.
Things are not as bad as we think they are. Our problem is that we have allowed our focus on our problems to distort our view. It is good to always sit down after hitting a rock bottom experience and consider what we have left.
It is not possible for everything in your life to be horrible; you must have some things that are still working, things that can still give you some level of joy and happiness. Most of the times, what we perceive as little, and unimportant, is the most important.
If we by any chance lose them, we won’t mind trading all our possessions for them. Consider the air you breathe unaided by any mechanical device. You can probably urinate and defecate at ease. You have a computer or smart phone to read this. You have a home that serve as a cover over your head, and you have friends and family that care about you.All these alone points out to the fact that you have things left you can be grateful for.
In John Mason’s word, “do you count your blessings or you think your blessings don’t count?” Your answer to this question will determine your experience.
“When you consider the things you have left and show gratitude for them, you will find the strength you need to start again.”
6.Read books about coping with adversity.
One important way to find strength you need to get out of a rock bottom is by reading books on how to cope with adversity. Such books are full of strategies and real life stories of people who have encounter situations worse than yours, but strive to find ways to get out of them.Their stories will give you hope, courage and strength that you need to overcome your challenges. It will help you to develop a possibility mentality, and that is all you need to win.
7.Stop comparing yourself with others.
When you are in a rock bottom, the worst thing you can do to yourself is to start comparing the good part of other people’s life to the worse aspect of your life. Doing so will make you feel worse, weaker, sad, and depressed. All these negative feelings can‘t help you, they will only paralyze you the more.Stay out of unhealthy comparison. Focus on yourself. Consider how your life journey has been, and think of how you can move forward. How things are in other people’s life whether better or worse than yours isn’t any of your business, and they don’t care about yours too. Mind your own business. This mindset will help you to focus and gain strength to rise above your problem.
“How things are in other people’s life whether better or worse than yours isn’t any of your business, and they don’t care about yours too.”
8.Seek for counseling.
If you do everything possible within your power to gather strength and it seems nothing is happening, you may consider the service of a counselor. A counselor may not necessary be a professional, it should be someone you can confide in, or someone who has had greater life experience that can give you quality advice.
Mere opening up to someone you trust about your challenges can serve as a huge relief. Doing so will lighten the burden. Counseling will help you to have a winning perspective regarding your challenges. It will help you gather the strength, hope and courage that are critical to staging a comeback.
If you believe in a higher power or the existence of God, prayers can serve a huge relief. It provides you the opportunity to share your burden with a force higher than you. When you pray in faith, you will definitely hope for a better outcome. That hope alone will make a huge difference in getting out of your rock bottom.
“No matter what, never give up. Keep fighting. It is in not quitting too early that we find breakthrough.”
What do you feel about this post? Which of these strategies have you applied in the past and how was your result? Let me hear from you in the comment section.
Live consciously! Take charge of your life.
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