Some time ago (January 2014), I wrote an article similar to this one. I thought I would update it and add it to the PAC site because I believe it’s a very important topic we all need to be aware of: Toxic People and Baggage
Have you taken the time to really think about what you write in an email to answer someone or a quick message, comment on a blog or on Facebook or Twitter? It is a very well known fact that typing in all CAPS online is considered rude and the equivalent of yelling at someone; so don’t do it.
But what about a simple response to someone? I don’t mean that you should feel that the “Word Police” are going to be following you around everywhere but as we all know or should know, written words can be interpreted in many ways due to the difference in cultures and people that we meet from all over the world to perhaps just a misplaced word in your text.
While no matter how hard you try, there are always going to be times when anything you write may anger someone, when it was simply just an oversight on your part by not proof reading.
Sometimes It’s Not Enough
I had something similar happen to me. I try very hard to watch the words I use and check spelling before I hit the send button but even then, sometimes it’s not enough.
In this particular case, no matter how I wrote something, this person took it as me being rude and condescending. It got to the point that I was afraid to write anything that this person would read for fear of being chastised again.
I would read my text over and over and did not see that I was being rude or mean to anyone but this was weighing on me very heavy. Since I didn’t seem to have any problems communicating with others, I decided to break ties with this person.
Not My Problem Any Longer
I believe somewhere along the line the difference in personalities and our different cultures and different use of words between this other person and I caused too much of a problem to worry about.
What About You?
Have you had any kinds of problems with your writing being misunderstood or taken in the wrong way? What did you do about it?
Removing Toxic People and Baggage
What this is all leading up to is recognizing and removing “toxic people and baggage” from your life, circle, space or internet world. If it was a one-time occurrence or misunderstanding, get it out in the open and move on. But if it keeps happening over and over again, then as bad as you hate to do it, “delete them.”
I know that may sound harsh but life is too short to worry about making everyone else happy and that is never going to happen, no matter how hard you try.
I have read some quotes that state that you are allowed to be angry and selfish and unforgiving; I don’t agree with this at all. Being angry, selfish and unforgiving is creating another type of “toxic” atmosphere that you are trying to remove from your world.
Don’t create your own toxic world to replace another. There is a time that you can be angry and vent but get it out and over with; be done with it. Being selfish and unforgiving should NOT be an option in your new “non-toxic space.”
Your New Non-Toxic Space
After you rid your life of this toxic person or people you may have some guilt and resentment, wondering if you did the right thing.
Don’t over-think it. Carrying around the “baggage” that they left behind is going to defeat the purpose of removing them. Get rid of the baggage and move on…
I know sometimes it’s going to be a hard thing to do and I’m not trying to make light of the situation, it’s just something you HAVE to do for yourself.
Once they are gone and the baggage is gone and you have vented; you’re done, then it’s time to start replacing this void with positive thoughts, positive actions and positive people.
Take a look at the people and circumstances that still remain in your world. If you have removed the toxins, then it should get easier day by day for YOU to become a more positive person and you will then start attracting positivity and success in your life.
Congratulations and Welcome to your “New World”
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